Porch 7.0

Posted on August 8, 2019 by B

I have never been a winter person so this time of year is always special to me. The season wouldn’t be so special to me, however, if I didn’t have my own slice of nature in the middle of a parking lot somewhere in Toronto; a sliver of green among all the stone and brick. The city has lots of natural spaces to explore (parks, ravines, beaches) but there’s something about having control over one’s own little microcosm that feels powerful and energizing.

I’ve never been much of a gardener but after seven years of living in the same place I’ve managed to learn a lot. (Some of which I’ve shared here and here.) It’s a different kind of responsibility but one that I take on every year gladly. I won’t lie and say that I know what I’m doing; in fact, my garden is one of the few area of my life that I try not to research to death. Instead of looking for answers in a book or online, I try hard to listen to what my plants need. (Even though when I put it that way it sounds a little kooky.)

For example, there was no book that could tell me my raspberry bushes were going to bear fruit until October. (It’s true!) But to be fair, there was no book that told me the bushes were even going to last growing in pots. These, and other little happy surprises, are what make gardening so interesting to me. Nature makes up its own rules; you’re just kind of there to nurture and follow along as you go.

My garden adventures don’t stop at plants either: besides having planted flowers, shrubs, vegetables, fruits and herbs, my little porch now also boasts a hummingbird feeder which has yet to attract any birds but provides a nice rest stop to the many bees and butterflies that have come to visit.

In some ways my garden has become a sanctuary to all. People, animals, birds, insects-the garden is a perfect way to experience all the harmony that is in our world. The rule on my porch is that we all belong.

Except for the squirrels. Cute, but not welcome.

Spring 2019 Reading List

Posted on March 22, 2019 by B

Here’s a funny thing that happened: shortly after I published my reading picks for fall 2018, the same neighbour who had recommended those books to me dropped off another stack at my door. I’m not sure if he reads this blog, but if he doesn’t it sure was one heck of a coincidence!

In any case, he definitely has picked up on the fact that I have eclectic reading tastes. I get the feeling that his are just as eclectic. Here’s some of the books that he recommended to me that I’ll be reading this spring:

Dark Matter by Blake Crouch
Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in 15 Suggestions by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Holding On to Normal by Alana Somerville
Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson

Psst- wanna see which books have previously graced my bookshelves? Click here. Want even more fun reading recommendations? I’ve got some for you here. Don’t forget to find me on Goodreads so we can snoop each other’s bookshelves and dish about our favourites.

10 Reasons Being Organized is Good for You

Posted on March 5, 2019 by B

It actually is. I hear all the naysayers right now: it’s a waste of time! You’re over-complicating things! Organizing makes you anal!

Here’s my favourite (it’s something an ex once said to me): “What’s the point? You’re just organizing for the sake of organizing!”

Well…yeah. That’s kind of the point. Because (say it with me now) organizing is good for you.

Don’t believe me? Here’s some of the reasons why you should:

Being organized saves you time and stress getting out the door in the morning.
Being organized makes it easier to tidy up, which means you can have guests over without feeling embarrassed or apologizing for the mess
Being organized means you can let the dog-sitter/baby-sitter/housekeeper/assistant/house guest know where everything is (and they don’t have to call you in a panic!).
Being organized gives you more space to fill your home with the things you really like and want.
Being organized means you’ll finally find that thing you’ve been looking for (and saves you from looking for things in the future)
Being organized may be the key to finding motivation for that project that you’ve been meaning to take on for awhile.
Being organized means you can sail through the holidays with less stress.
Being organized saves you money because you’re not constantly replacing lost items, paying for quick fixes, or shopping in a panic.
Being organized means being more productive and getting your work done faster.
Being organized means you have more time for the people and things that you love.

I’ve found from experience that staying organized is one of the keys to maintain a balanced, more productive lifestyle. I’m trying to figure out the best way to organize my life here, or click here for some of the best methods for managing your time. For more ways to keep it all together, click here.

How do you organize your life? Inquiring minds want to know. Tell us below or send pics of your beautifully organized stuff to keepingbusyb@gmail.com.

The Spring Cleaning Challenge

Posted on March 4, 2019 by B

March is a funny time of year up here in Canada. (Is it like that in your part of the world too?) We spend most of the month in the weather limbo. Some days it feels like warm weather is just around the corner; other days it feels like winter will never end. No wonder we turn our thoughts to spring and start feeling the urge to clean out our houses. It’s this longing for warmer weather that I think drives our need to perform a spring cleaning ritual every year.

Springtime is a great opportunity to get cleaned and organized for the warmer season ahead. It’s also a great opportunity, however, to start from ground zero and give your home a refresh. For some of you this just might mean going through your basic spring cleaning routine. For others it’s the time to get all those little annoying tasks that always seem to get away from you while you’re cleaning. And for those of you who have trouble sticking to a regular cleaning routine, this might the time of year to put one into action.

A spring cleaning ritual doesn’t even have to be confined to the act of cleaning. Going through your things, organizing and purging are also all great ways to refresh your home.

If you’re feeling listless, bored or stuck then it could be time for a spring clean. During the month of March I’ll be posting some helpful tips and tricks I’ve learned along the way to get you and your home cleaned up and feeling restored. (Plus I’ve got a back catalogue of blog posts that you can refer to when you’re embarking on your own projects: I’ve got even more ways to get organized, be more productive, care for your home and manage your lifestyle.)

But for now, my best advice for you is this: take the time to look out the window and daydream about the weather getting warmer. Imagine yourself living comfortably in your clean, organized home. Imagine spending more time on your hobbies and with loved ones instead of constantly trying to catch up on your cleaning. Imagine yourself enjoying the outdoors and leaving your home worry-free, knowing that when you come back to it you’ll feel just as refreshed and relaxed as you did when you left.

This is your spring cleaning motivation. Use it and tag along with me on my journey this month. I hope you’re all in for the ride.

It may seem old-fashioned, but I believe that your home is a reflection of who you are. Having a clean and functional household is one of the best ways to cultivate self-expression and a sense of fun in your spare time. Here’s my best practices on achieving that in your own home, as well as during the holidays and in your personal life.

What are some of your secrets to a clean and organized house? Comment below or send your pictures to keepingbusyb@gmail.com.

Baking with B: Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Cake

Posted on February 25, 2019 by B

Back in college when my ex-boyfriend’s mom was visiting we knew it could only mean one thing- she was going to be bringing this famous cake that I dubbed “Mama B Cake”. It earned its fame mainly because it was the only thing that “Mama B” could (or would) bake. When she made it for you, you knew it was something kind of special. The cake was its own kind of love so I imagine that’s why it always tasted so good. Try as I might, my version will never be delicious as hers. (I’ve searched around for the original recipe for ages, but this one I found here was the closest I could get.)

Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Cake

1 c. all-purpose flour

1 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1 c. overripe bananas, mashed (about 3)

1/4 c. vegetable oil

1/2 c. smooth peanut butter

3/4 c. brown sugar

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla

2 tbsp cocoa powder

Preheat oven to 350F. Grease and flour a 9×5 loaf pan and set aside. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda and salt. In another medium bowl, whisk together peanut butter, banana, oil, sugar, egg and vanilla until thick and yellow. Slowly add the wet ingredients to the dry, one spoonful at a time, until well combined. Pour half of the batter into prepared pan. Add cocoa to the remaining batter, stirring until combined. Dollop the chocolate batter onto the peanut butter batter, then swirl to combine using a wooden skewer.

B’s Tip: If you don’t have skewers lying around, use a chopstick, a cake tester, a knife, the handle of your mixing spoon- anything that’s long and thin!

Bake for approximately 50 minutes until knife comes out clean in the middle. Cool for approximately 10 minutes in pan before turning out onto wire rack. Let cool completely before serving.

Baking with B appears every other Monday on the Keeping Busy with B Blog. Find out why I like baking so much here. For more of my baking, click here. And for even more recipe inspiration, check out my Pinterest full of food eye candy that will have you licking your computer. Promise.

Baking with B: Chocolate Guinness Cake

Posted on February 18, 2019 by B

Chocolate? Beer? Lime? I know what you’re thinking- how could these ingredients possibly go together?

Here’s the answer: I don’t know. But believe me, it works. The beer gives the chocolate a rich, deep flavour and the lime zest brightens things up so the cake doesn’t feel as heavy Even if you’re not a fan of Guinness (or beer in general), this is still a great cake for any chocolate lover and is perfect for St. Patrick’s Day (And no, that’s not some leprechaun trick!)

Chocolate Guinness Cake (serves 12)

1 c. Guinness beer

1 c. unsalted butter

¾ c. unsweetened cocoa powder

2 c. white sugar

2/3 c. regular sour cream

2 large eggs

1 tbsp vanilla

2 c. all-purpose flour

2 ½ tsp baking soda

icing sugar for garnish (optional)

lime zest for garnish (optional)

Preheat oven to 350F. Butter 9-inch pan and line bottom with parchment paper. Pour Guinness into large saucepan over medium heat. Add butter and heat until melted. Remove from heat and whisk in cocoa powder and sugar. Set aside. In a bowl, combine sour cream, eggs, and vanilla and beat until smooth. Add sour cream mixture to Guinness mixture, and whisk to combine. Whisk in flour and baking soda, then pour batter into prepared pan. Bake 50-60 minutes, at 350F, until tester comes out with a few crumbs clinging to it. Cool and serve with a sprinkle of icing sugar and lime shavings on top.

B’s Tip: Yeah, yeah I know it sounds weird, but go with the lime shavings! It’s honestly one of the best things about the cake.

5 Rules for Relationships

Posted on February 14, 2019 by B

I know about love just as much as the next person. In fact, I probably know even less. However, seeing as it is Valentine’s Day and I am in the business of giving advice I thought I would share five rules for relationships that I have developed from what little I’ve learned over the years.

Never stop showing kindness. It’s a way of giving your partner affection and showing that you appreciate them. Even though your feelings may be obvious, it’s still important to remind your partner that those feelings haven’t changed.
Understand that people communicate in different ways. Our style of communication isn’t only about our word choice or turn of phrase. Our body language and our actions also demonstrate how we feel. We need a combination of these techniques to communicate what we’re really thinking and the methods we use influence how we interpret the way other people communicate, which can lead to misunderstandings. It’s important to acknowledge what’s really being said instead of focusing on how your partner is saying it.
Separate the conflict from the relationship. We avoid conflict because we fear it will result in ultimatums: the relationship is over, I’ll never see him again, etc. In fact, being in disagreement with your partner is a sign that you are two separate people, not a sign that your relationship is about to dissolve. Conflict is natural, healthy, and (unfortunately) unavoidable. Arguing with your partner may be uncomfortable, but it’s evidence that you care enough about each other to want to work things out.
But if you do have to fight, fight fair. No name calling. Leave the past in the past. Emotional triggers? Out-of-bounds. Similarly out-of-bounds: your partner’s family, their views on politics, religion, or past relationships. Pay attention to your emotions and focus on exactly what it is you’re fighting about. And there’s no making accusations without having evidence to back them up.
It has to be about you, sometimes. Too often I have seen people lose themselves in a relationship, constantly giving and giving and never receiving in return. Real love is about wanting what’s best for your partner, so your partner needs to understand and respect the decisions you make in order to be your best self. If you practice self-care and cultivate your own independent relationships and interests, you pave the way for a relationship that’s more varied, exciting and healthier for the both of you. Someone who doesn’t want you to do your own thing simply isn’t worthy of you.

In this day and age we place so many demands ourselves that sometimes even going about our day-to-day lives is exhausting. As a person who likes to keep busy, I find myself struggling to stay balanced. You can follow my journey here, or click here or here to find more ways to streamline your life to keep it simple.

What are some of the ways that you stay balanced? Give us your advice below, or email your strategies to keepingbusywithb@gmail.com.

The Friendship Connection

Posted on February 6, 2019 by B

I can’t start a post about friendship without first acknowledging some of the wonderful friends who have made a difference in my life. They have fed me emotionally, spiritually, and yes, even physically. In some ways they take better care of me then I take care of myself and if you are ever in the position to have friends who are like mine then I hope you consider yourself very lucky, because I know that I am. I’m not going to lie, however, because it took me a long time to find my tribe. Once I did, it took me even longer to realize that friendship is something that you work at- it is an ever-evolving, changing thing.

I used to think that I could be an island and that I never needed anything or any help from anyone. That attitude earned me a lot of really great acquaintances but not many close friends. I guess I was just so worried about feeling vulnerable and insecure I could never really open myself up to anyone. It wasn’t until later on in my life that I realized that true, meaningful connections take work. They require you to not only open yourself up emotionally, but you have to be willing to put in the physical amount of time and effort.

In this day and age, making time for others is not easy! (It’s a struggle even to find time for ourselves.) Consider this, though: study results published in the Scientific American found that having friends can increase our survival rate by up to 50%. This study found that friendships can actually strengthen marriages and this article suggests that friendships can improve our health, lessening the risk of chronic disease and depression (especially among the elderly).

Not that you really need convincing, of course- we all to spend more time with our friends. Especially as social media continues to replace real-life interactions, it’s important to make the effort to get that (real) face time in so that we avoid becoming even more socially isolated. You know what that means- everybody put down your phones, or at the very least, try and make your online interactions meaningful. For example, instead of just liking a post, comment by sharing a memory, answering a question, or starting a conversation. And if you are brave enough to put away your phone, why not do something during and leave it in your purse the next time you grab coffee with a friend so you can actually look at each other.

If we try to build these small connections into our everyday lives, every day we’re making bigger strides to maintain the friendships we’ve worked so hard to build and keep. Even something as small as an out-of-the-blue message can mean a lot. So go ahead- brighten someone’s day today! I dare you to!

In this day and age we place so many demands ourselves that sometimes even going about our day-to-day lives is exhausting. As a person who likes to keep busy, I find myself struggling to stay balanced. You can follow my journey here, or click here or here to find more ways to streamline your life to keep it simple.

What are some of the ways that you stay balanced? Give us your advice below, or email your strategies to keepingbusyb@gmail.com.

Brainy Books that Will Blow Your Mind

Posted on January 31, 2019 by B

You know you’ve reached the epitome of nerdom when you’re at a party and someone asks you about your favourite non-fiction books and you start babbling about the fascinating world of neuroscience. (Just for the record this did not happen to me; it happened to a friend of mine. Cough cough.) It’s essentially the last frontier of the human body: we know less about our brains than any other body part. (Except for maybe the appendix. Has anyone figured that one out yet?)

Don’t take my word for it though- take Michio Kaku’s. His popular neuroscience books take complex scientific concepts and frames them in a way that the rest of us mortals can understand. My favourite, The Future of the Mind: The Scientific Quest to Understand, Enhance and Empower the Mind answers the more fun questions of the field; for example, do humans really have the capacity to move things with their mind? (You’ll have to read his books for yourself to find the answer.)

For the more ambitious reader, Reading in the Brain: The New Science of How We Read by Stanislas Dahaene chronicles every little nanosecond the brain takes to process the written word. After you read about the effort that it takes for your brain to recognize, understand and memorize letters, you’ll never look at reading the same way again. (Read slowly; this one left me a little cross-eyed.)

After learning about the memory championships (yes, there is such a thing), journalist Joshua Foer dug deeper into the why and how of what we remember and how we can better train our memories using long-forgotten techniques once used to learn entire religious manuscripts. The resulting book is called Moonwalking with Einstein: The Art and Science of Remembering Everything– part memoir, part history lesson, part how-to book. Even if you’re not a neuroscience nerd like me, you’ll appreciate this one. Some of the techniques from the book that I’ve tried have actually worked really well!

While I certainly haven’t learned how to move things with my mind, master speed reading, or memorize the order of an entire deck of 52 cards, reading these books still gave me a better understanding and a new appreciation of how our efficiently and intricately brains work. But like I said, don’t just take this nerd’s word for it.

You Are Your Own Goal-Keeper

Posted on January 29, 2019 by B

Making goals at the beginning of the year is easy: you feel more optimistic and motivated to make a fresh start. Come of the end of January, however, a lot of us find ourselves falling off of the wagon. It takes about 21 days, or 3 weeks, to develop or kick a habit. If we haven’t set realistic goals for ourselves then it’s less likely we’re going to form new habits and stick with them. Plus, once the shine of the new year wears off, you begin to feel less motivated, especially here where the days are still short and shockingly cold.

I’m the last person to be talking about setting New Year’s resolutions, though. Every year I set the same goal of reading more (50-60 books/year) and even though I read a little bit more every year, I still find myself falling short. I’ve set myself goals on Goodreads. I’ve announced my goal to all of my friends (who generally think I’m crazy). I started a reading journal but seeing as I already journal I found the practice difficult to sustain. I even promised myself that I would try and read an hour every night beforehand, which works out great (not) because I’m not always great at having a set bedtime.

The reason I don’t make my goal every year is because it’s ill-defined; I rely on others and the formation of other habits I don’t already have in place to try and get what I want. I am not my own goal-keeper. If you’re not keeping your resolutions, you might not be your own goal-keeper either.

In life, you’ve got the opposing team (your competition and your enemies) and your team (family and friends). These are the people who will act as your defense and sometimes even participate in your offense. But you’re the only one that’s watching the goal.

Asking your defense to watch your goal means they have to take their eyes off of the offense, which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Plus, each member of your team has their own goals to watch. They don’t have time to check your position.

Relying on a teammate you don’t have, or a piece of equipment that isn’t there doesn’t make sense either because you need to be able to fit those things into your game strategy now. If you think that you’ll get x just as soon as you get y then your goal is really about getting the y and not the x. (For example, I can’t read before bed if I don’t have a set bedtime. Then setting the bedtime becomes the goal, instead of reading beforehand.)

Well, no more. This year, I’m my own goal-keeper, responsible for my own goals. I’m doing this by being realistic and making my goal tangible: instead of setting a goal to read more (what is more?), I’m blocking off an hour every day on my calendar (when I know I’m awake) and dedicating it to reading. No excuses. No pretending. It’s there in black and white, so there’s no arguments and because it’s in my planner I’ve got no one to blame but myself if I miss a day.

Is it a perfect system? No. But can I keep up with it consistently? 90% of the time the answer is yes.

Right now, I’m kind of ok with those odds.

What are some of the ways that you stay balanced? Give us your advice below, or email your strategies to keepingbusywithb@gmail.com.